Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Anatolie Scolnic
Monika Monk
EAP-98
04/19/2010
Childhood memories
What is a childhood? Childhood is the only moment in which we lived life all maximum intensity. When the cry and laugh happen at the same day. Childhood is a magical land we do not know when and where it begin and do not know when and where it ends. Like any child I also had my childhood. I remember with pleasure about it. Most of this memories I remember but some of them told me my bothers.
In my family we are three bothers and three sisters. I am the fifth child in the family. Often our parents went to work in the field and let me home with my older brothers and sisters to take care of me. Of course like any children they wanted to play and let me without supervision. Nobody wanted to play with me because I was small and could not run with them. They liked to play with neighborhood children and often they forgot about me.
And how we lived near to the pound, one day when our parents were at work they were playing near to the pound with other children. I was like a seven months and I was sitting in the stroller near to the pound. Others small children were playing around the stroller and they crashed me into the pound with stroller. My older sisters were scared when they saw it. They quickly took me and fled home.
So they fled at home to change me the wet clothes. They dressed me in clean and dry clothes, but the dirty clothes they had washed and put it to dry outside to sun. My sisters was very frightened. In the evening when my parents come home after work, I was very clean and they were very happy. They thought how well the girls were cared for me and they praised them for this.
That was my childhood, Beautiful and honest. I grew up under the teachings of my sisters and parents. I grew up in a world where there were no computer games, but we lost hours playing the soccer behind the house and many more games. That was my childhood and I still miss her.

5 comments:

  1. 1. Is there a clear thesis at the end of the introduction? YES

    2. Does the thesis have a topic and controlling ideas? YES

    3. does the thesis address the essay topic well? YES

    4. are there at least two body paragraphs of 5 or more sentences? YES

    5. Does each body paragraph have a clear topic sentence, and does the topic sentence clearly connect to the controlling ideas of the thesis? YES

    6. Can you easily find at least one major detail in each body paragraph? If not, please let the writer know where you are confused about the major detail. YES

    7. Does the writer EXPLAIN and GIVE EXAMPLES for each major detail, and do they help you understand the major detail better? If not, please let the writer know that he/she needs more detail. Also let the writer know if you think the details are not exactly relevant. YES

    8. Are the details concrete, not too general? let the writer know if s/he needs to give more interesting, concrete details. YES details are concrete.

    9. How is the conclusion--does it cover the main ideas and thesis in new words, and does it make a comment that really makes you think about the essay topic some more? Please be specific about your feedback, don't just say Yes or No. YES

    10. What do you like best about this essay? be specific. I liked how Anatolie described his childhood and how grew up. =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1. Is there a clear thesis at the end of the introduction?
    y
    2. Does the thesis have a topic and controlling ideas?
    y
    3. does the thesis address the essay topic well?
    y
    4. are there at least two body paragraphs of 5 or more sentences?
    y
    5. Does each body paragraph have a clear topic sentence, and does the topic sentence clearly connect to the controlling ideas of the thesis?
    y
    6. Can you easily find at least one major detail in each body paragraph? If not, please let the writer know where you are confused about the major detail.
    y
    7. Does the writer EXPLAIN and GIVE EXAMPLES for each major detail, and do they help you understand the major detail better? If not, please let the writer know that he/she needs more detail. Also let the writer know if you think the details are not exactly relevant.
    y
    8. Are the details concrete, not too general? let the writer know if s/he needs to give more interesting, concrete details.
    y
    9. How is the conclusion--does it cover the main ideas and thesis in new words, and does it make a comment that really makes you think about the essay topic some more? Please be specific about your feedback, don't just say Yes or No.

    10. What do you like best about this essay? be specific.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 1. Is there a clear thesis at the end of the introduction?
    YES
    2. Does the thesis have a topic and controlling ideas?
    YES
    3. does the thesis address the essay topic well?
    YES
    4. are there at least two body paragraphs of 5 or more sentences?
    YES
    5. Does each body paragraph have a clear topic sentence, and does the topic sentence clearly connect to the controlling ideas of the thesis?
    YES
    6. Can you easily find at least one major detail in each body paragraph? If not, please let the writer know where you are confused about the major detail.
    YES
    7. Does the writer EXPLAIN and GIVE EXAMPLES for each major detail, and do they help you understand the major detail better? If not, please let the writer know that he/she needs more detail. Also let the writer know if you think the details are not exactly relevant.
    YES
    8. Are the details concrete, not too general? let the writer know if s/he needs to give more interesting, concrete details.
    YES
    9. How is the conclusion--does it cover the main ideas and thesis in new words, and does it make a comment that really makes you think about the essay topic some more? Please be specific about your feedback, don't just say Yes or No.
    YES
    10. What do you like best about this essay? be specific.

    ReplyDelete
  5. 1. Is there a clear thesis at the end of the introduction? YES

    2. Does the thesis have a topic and controlling ideas? YES

    3. does the thesis address the essay topic well? YES

    4. are there at least two body paragraphs of 5 or more sentences? YES

    5. Does each body paragraph have a clear topic sentence, and does the topic sentence clearly connect to the controlling ideas of the thesis? YES

    6. Can you easily find at least one major detail in each body paragraph? If not, please let the writer know where you are confused about the major detail. YES

    7. Does the writer EXPLAIN and GIVE EXAMPLES for each major detail, and do they help you understand the major detail better? If not, please let the writer know that he/she needs more detail. Also let the writer know if you think the details are not exactly relevant. YES

    8. Are the details concrete, not too general? let the writer know if s/he needs to give more interesting, concrete details. YES details are concrete.

    9. How is the conclusion--does it cover the main ideas and thesis in new words, and does it make a comment that really makes you think about the essay topic some more? Please be specific about your feedback, don't just say Yes or No. YES

    10. What do you like best about this essay? be specific. Good story!

    ReplyDelete